I went back to work two weeks ago. It has been a lot easier than I expected. I have good students (so far) who had a substitute who I have know for a few years and they were jumpstarted well. Pnut is back to her before school care (I asked the supervisor if she was ready for her and she responded Yes!). It is nice to know that she is loved by so many around her.
Pnut's teacher is 100 times better than her kindergarten teacher. We get weekly feedback on how she is doing in class, I have not received any notes, and when Pnut tells me she has lost recess or received warnings her reasons are valid and appropriate. Pnut is doing fabulously in school (aside from her chatty, bossy, nature); her grades are excellent on her tests, she zips through homework and is in the higher reading group. This means she has mastered the first set of 100 high frequency words and can start the online reading program. She reads books and takes comprehension tests based on those books to earn points (it is like Ac*lerated Re@der if you are familiar with that). Her second set of 100 words have come home and some examples of words my Nut will know are: following, answer, American, thorough!
My boy Cashew. I knew when I found out I would have a boy I would have a little bit of gender depression (I think it lasted like week) and now I LOVE my BOY so much. He makes me smile even when he is cranky. He is doing well with all his friends at daycare. They love him and he has done well. Of the 10 days at daycare so far I think he has only had one rough day.
He had his 2 month check up yesterday (even though he is 10 weeks). My darling boy is 14.3 pounds, 24 inches long (half the size of his sissy!) and doing well. The doctor mentioned he had a nicely shaped head and asked if we laid him flat a lot. I said, except for sleeping at night and changing diapers he doesn't lay flat. The boy is held, sits in a swing or bouncy seat, naps propped on a nursing pillow, and is elevated for baths. He should not have a flat head :) I don't see Cashew as a chubby, he is just big in all areas. He is wearing 3 month or as big as 3-6 month clothes, size 2 diapers and chowed down on a 6 oz bottle yesterday for his sitter.
Cashew typically is doing 5-6 hour stretches of sleep in the beginning of the night as well. Around week 6 I figured my boy out and life has been a little better for us. He is not completely routined, but he has cues that make my life so much simpler. With these cues I have been able to return to choir on Sunday morning; I even send Cashew home with Daddy on choir practice nights. He is a wake, eat, play, sleep child. So much better than the napping battles from before.
I love him. His faces are precious. He is gaining so much more personality. He has some great smiles and gets very fidgety and excited (he kind of pants like a dog and purses his lips) when you talk to him. He chatters more at you when he is getting upset and has the odd comfort mechanism of liking the burp cloth over his face to sleep. I don't remember a lot of these things with Pnut, but I'm glad I get to experience them again.
Pnut is a great sissy. She wants to help so much that sometimes we have to tell her to back off some. She can give him a paci when we can't, she reads to him, talks to him and just likes to be by him.
Returning to work has been patience testing with getting out the door, but we are getting it done and for that I am glad. I am getting used to referring to them, they and the kids more. After six years of her, she, and our kid, the new references are hard rolling off the tongue, but I can't imagine not having the boy here now.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
More of a reflective journal entry :)
Where did that time go? Our first week was a blur with the daily visits to the doctor's office for bilirubin checks and now suddenly it is 5 weeks later.
Cashew is definitely different than Pnut. He has a completely different personality, the first part being he is addicted to "Mommy Smell". I tease that he has different types of narcolepsy (sp?). Mommy narcolepsy, car narcolepsy, etc. I also say that he goes into milk comas. I think it is just so dang adorable when he finishes eating, you sit him up to burp and he has this content look on his face and milk all over it and his head is just flopped to the side. But if you put him in the M@by Wrap against my chest he is OUT. I'm talking snoring, restful bliss OUT.
Pnut started first grade so my days are not as lounging as most would think. D went back to work after two weeks and my mommy carpooling duties began. It is not as bad as I thought it would be. I am pretty organized with getting Pnut out the door, especially since I don't have to get myself ready yet. Three more weeks and we will see how organized I am to get three of us out the door ready instead of just one. I will definity miss just throwing on a sweatshirt with my pj bottoms and some flip flops to take Pnut to school.
Pnut is now taking the bus home and we are "training"/teaching her to walk home. We live in a relatively quiet track and the bus stop is a little over a half mile from our house on residential streets. My daughter, let's say gently, lacks focus sometimes. At least she lacks focus on what she should be paying attention to instead of what she wants to pay attention to. Thus the "training". I wait different distances from the bus stop and she is learning to "walk with purpose" (as I tell my students who are tardy) from the bus, as well as to cross (gasp!) 3 streets by herself. So far she is at only crossing one street. I remember walking home (2 little blocks weren't so bad, but one of our blocks is equivalent to the two I walked home it seems) and staying in the house for like 30 minutes until my dad got home. Pnut doing this boggles my brain! Luckily 4 days out of the week she will get home around the time one of us does. Does everyone see me stepping out of my comfort zone with this monumental task? I think I am more nervous than Pnut.
Cashew is very trial and error. We have had many battles, that boy and I. Afternoon napping is the big one. Unfortunately because of sissy needing to be picked up right when my little old man should be relaxing into a nap, sometimes the timing gets screwed up and the nap doesn't happen until, oh, dinnertime, or an hour before he is due a bath and then hopefully to go to bed. I had one really bad day where I lacked sleep and Cashew just didn't want to nap at all. Let me explain nap. Though I love holding my son, nap does not equal ON me every time. I would like to, you know, eat or go to the bathroom, or just have a moment for me while he sleeps in his bed (or on my bed, or in the swing, or on the couch, just NOT on me for a minute), however he sometimes has other ideas and our battle begins. Sometimes I win, sometimes he gives in after a time.
I am learning him that is for sure. He does not have a set pattern. What worked one day doesn't necessarily work the next. Swaddling him in a blanket will only work for half the night, then he gets irritated. Sometimes he is a tummy sleeper, sometimes a back, sometimes propped on the nursing pillow. He also is not only gassy so we have to deal with trying to make him comfortable (I don't care if the doctor says he isn't hurting when he strains, uh, it DOES and I know it does, but that is for an entirely different blog), AND he has slight reflux so he will spit up slightly, not all the time (even while propped up) and if he hasn't been burped properly (which is a struggle as well) he will get the hiccoughs MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY! Deep, hollow hiccoughs that make you feel so bad for him because you know that it makes your stomach hurt just thinking about it.
But, he smiles in his sleep, and he even has laughed in his sleep (I know right?) He is starting to coo a little more and he has an ear splitting scream. When he is really mad he sounds like a possessed gremlin (you have to experience it, D thought I was crazy until he heard it). Pnut loves him and can calm him down better than us sometimes, not to mention it is AWESOME having her in the back seat to give him the paci if he is getting fussy. He is a cuddler and needs to be held very securely to go to sleep sometimes. He EATS well. He is a little over 11 pounds and you could say is is chunky, but he isn't. He is nicely filled out and sometimes when you look at him he still just seems small. His cheeks are just so darn kissable and I love when he tries to "eat" my face when I am kissing her cheeks. When we visit his soon to be daycare next door he sits and watches the little kids and there are a few of them that just love him to pieces already.
I know there are still going to be so many adjustments to get used to in having a boy, but I'm good. My Cashew is already a much loved boy. From his family, to his friends, to his church family. I took him to choir practice this past week and he slept in the wrap the whole time. But it made my heart happy when I was getting out of the car beforehand and the accompanist for the choir arrived too. We said hello and I said, "I thought I would let everybody sing to him!" to which Mr. Real replied, "That's a good thing, he belongs to a lot of people in there." And he does! Cashew has been in choir since conception :) And we are so lucky to have SO many people love him, and his sister, so much.
Cashew is definitely different than Pnut. He has a completely different personality, the first part being he is addicted to "Mommy Smell". I tease that he has different types of narcolepsy (sp?). Mommy narcolepsy, car narcolepsy, etc. I also say that he goes into milk comas. I think it is just so dang adorable when he finishes eating, you sit him up to burp and he has this content look on his face and milk all over it and his head is just flopped to the side. But if you put him in the M@by Wrap against my chest he is OUT. I'm talking snoring, restful bliss OUT.
Pnut started first grade so my days are not as lounging as most would think. D went back to work after two weeks and my mommy carpooling duties began. It is not as bad as I thought it would be. I am pretty organized with getting Pnut out the door, especially since I don't have to get myself ready yet. Three more weeks and we will see how organized I am to get three of us out the door ready instead of just one. I will definity miss just throwing on a sweatshirt with my pj bottoms and some flip flops to take Pnut to school.
Pnut is now taking the bus home and we are "training"/teaching her to walk home. We live in a relatively quiet track and the bus stop is a little over a half mile from our house on residential streets. My daughter, let's say gently, lacks focus sometimes. At least she lacks focus on what she should be paying attention to instead of what she wants to pay attention to. Thus the "training". I wait different distances from the bus stop and she is learning to "walk with purpose" (as I tell my students who are tardy) from the bus, as well as to cross (gasp!) 3 streets by herself. So far she is at only crossing one street. I remember walking home (2 little blocks weren't so bad, but one of our blocks is equivalent to the two I walked home it seems) and staying in the house for like 30 minutes until my dad got home. Pnut doing this boggles my brain! Luckily 4 days out of the week she will get home around the time one of us does. Does everyone see me stepping out of my comfort zone with this monumental task? I think I am more nervous than Pnut.
Cashew is very trial and error. We have had many battles, that boy and I. Afternoon napping is the big one. Unfortunately because of sissy needing to be picked up right when my little old man should be relaxing into a nap, sometimes the timing gets screwed up and the nap doesn't happen until, oh, dinnertime, or an hour before he is due a bath and then hopefully to go to bed. I had one really bad day where I lacked sleep and Cashew just didn't want to nap at all. Let me explain nap. Though I love holding my son, nap does not equal ON me every time. I would like to, you know, eat or go to the bathroom, or just have a moment for me while he sleeps in his bed (or on my bed, or in the swing, or on the couch, just NOT on me for a minute), however he sometimes has other ideas and our battle begins. Sometimes I win, sometimes he gives in after a time.
I am learning him that is for sure. He does not have a set pattern. What worked one day doesn't necessarily work the next. Swaddling him in a blanket will only work for half the night, then he gets irritated. Sometimes he is a tummy sleeper, sometimes a back, sometimes propped on the nursing pillow. He also is not only gassy so we have to deal with trying to make him comfortable (I don't care if the doctor says he isn't hurting when he strains, uh, it DOES and I know it does, but that is for an entirely different blog), AND he has slight reflux so he will spit up slightly, not all the time (even while propped up) and if he hasn't been burped properly (which is a struggle as well) he will get the hiccoughs MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY! Deep, hollow hiccoughs that make you feel so bad for him because you know that it makes your stomach hurt just thinking about it.
But, he smiles in his sleep, and he even has laughed in his sleep (I know right?) He is starting to coo a little more and he has an ear splitting scream. When he is really mad he sounds like a possessed gremlin (you have to experience it, D thought I was crazy until he heard it). Pnut loves him and can calm him down better than us sometimes, not to mention it is AWESOME having her in the back seat to give him the paci if he is getting fussy. He is a cuddler and needs to be held very securely to go to sleep sometimes. He EATS well. He is a little over 11 pounds and you could say is is chunky, but he isn't. He is nicely filled out and sometimes when you look at him he still just seems small. His cheeks are just so darn kissable and I love when he tries to "eat" my face when I am kissing her cheeks. When we visit his soon to be daycare next door he sits and watches the little kids and there are a few of them that just love him to pieces already.
I know there are still going to be so many adjustments to get used to in having a boy, but I'm good. My Cashew is already a much loved boy. From his family, to his friends, to his church family. I took him to choir practice this past week and he slept in the wrap the whole time. But it made my heart happy when I was getting out of the car beforehand and the accompanist for the choir arrived too. We said hello and I said, "I thought I would let everybody sing to him!" to which Mr. Real replied, "That's a good thing, he belongs to a lot of people in there." And he does! Cashew has been in choir since conception :) And we are so lucky to have SO many people love him, and his sister, so much.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Birth of the Cutest Old Man Baby :)
WARNING: There may be TMI for some of you in this (i.e. catheters, cords, etc) and it is REALLY LONG!
My last post talked about my choice to have a C-section. I never knew how ironic that post would turn out to be, because as it turns out, it was a blessing to have a C-Section.
D and I arrived on time to the hospital and entered triage to a silent room. There was no hustle and bustle, in fact when I mentioned it the nurse shushed me! :) I was put into a room, changed and they gave me my IV. My doctor had wanted me to have an entire bag and a half of fluid before surgery. That stuff is cold mind you and D and I laughed at how cold my arm got. The nurse made me laugh because she said the first bag wasn't going in fast enough. I was really calm during my two hours in triage. I wasn't able to update my statuses on FB, but I was able to text message so my friend J updated on FB for me. Yes, I am a crazy person about FB, I admit it!
Even when the anesthesiologist came in I was fine. He asked me questions which I answered. He explained different scenarios about what I should and should not feel (I was completely asleep for my last one). I was good, even making some jokes. Then the surgical nurse came and my gut dropped. D followed us and the nurse let him into the recovery room to wait for someone to come get him. I became a shivering, almost hysterical wreck. But not hysterical as in screaming. I just started crying silently, my nerves had set in quickly and I was trying to be calm. I prayed, I breathed, and I silently did what I was told. Then the nurse saw and immediately got super close and tried to reassure me. She told me I should be happy and that there was nothing to worry about, which I knew, but my nerves are a funny mess of emotions for me and it took me a little bit to calm down. Then the anesthesiologist did my spinal and I started getting nervous all over again! Cried some more, but settled more easily. They laid me down and everything started to go numb and I was so happy that it did. It is the weirdest sensation I have ever experienced. I did get sick a little from my blood pressure leveling out, but it quickly went away and I realized: I WAS LAYING ON MY BACK AND IT FELT MARVELOUS!
They brought D in just after they started giving me some oxygen. Unfortunately I started itching all over my face and could barely hold D's hand because I was itching my face (around the mask, my eyes, forehead, etc.) The anesthesiologist let me take the mask off and I believe he began to give me benadryl through me IV because I really became calm after that. The doctors were working and I thought at any moment Cashew was going to be born, but the waiting just kept on.
We didn't think anything was wrong, but we realized soon that something was taking too long. It turns out during my previous two surgeries things had shifted inside and my bladder was in the wrong place. Now I don't know anything about anatomy, but my doctor was concerned about identifying where my bladder was and making sure not to harm it. So they had to do some inflating my bladder with blue dye backwards through my catheter. That way if my doctor nicked my bladder he would know. That craziness lasted for almost an hour. My surgery started around 11:40am.
At 12:35 Cashew was born. It was so quick. One minute the room was fairly quiet, the next you could hear our little man crying loudly. Then the doctor said, "Oh wow. There's a true knot." Now, if you are "ER" fans you will remember that Carter's baby died in utero because of a true knot. It is where the baby has flipped and flopped around and created a knot in the umbilical cord. Carter's baby's knot tightened to the point of oxygen deprevation and the baby died. Cashew's knot was loose, but large. He also had a REALLY long cord. So, if I think too hard about what could have happened during a vaginal delivery I shiver a little bit.
Poor D almost couldn't go see Cashew on the warming table because it was across the room and on the other side of the curtain protecting him from see me all open and stuff. You know the whole road precaution about driving and oncoming traffic headlights are blinding you? Look at the lines on the road, that's what D had to do. A few minutes after he went over there the anesthesiologist asked if D wanted to see the knot, D said no, I said YES! So the anesthesiologist took the camera from D and took a picture of it for me :) D brought Cashew over and held him to my face so I could just nuzzle on him and kiss him. It was really nice to just feel him. D was crying a bit, which the nurse that had taken care of me while I cried was just floored over.
My procedure also included a tubal ligation so I assumed that is what happened after that. I had a lot of scar tissue from previous surgeries and as the doctors were working I started to feel more pressure and some of it was not very comfortable. As they continued to work and I said ow a few more times than the anesthesiologist liked, he finally said he was going to give me a sedative. D and Cashew were led out by a nurse, which I knew would happen eventually.
I then woke up in recovery. I looked at the clock across the room and it said 2:30! D was there and so was my BFF Jill. As soon as I woke up, I wanted my baby and I got him. I was so shocked to see how much he looked like Pnut. So much so that they could have been identical. I immediately noticed all the hair he had, but I also noticed differences ( his lips are smaller, his ears are mine instead of D's). He had not a piece out of place.
My surgery had so many ups and downs to it, but there is such a large blessing in my decision to have a C-section. My doctor says my surgery was the hardest he has every done. I had lots of scarring, lots of bleeding (which upon blood work it was decided I didn't need to receive any blood), and then there was the bladder thing. The easiest part of my surgery was delivering Cashew. They did give me some general anesthetic, it is my assumption that because of the length of time it was taking my spinal was beginning to fade. Not to mention the next 24 hours of me receiving benadryl every hour because it seems I am allergic to the numbing agent they put in your back first before the spinal. I swear I thought I was going to scratch my skin off!
I held off on major pain medication for about 18 hours as well. I only took one shot and then everything was oral meds from then on.
Cashew is definitely different from his sister. He is a fussypants as I call him, but each day as he gets used to the world he is less fussy. He lets you know what he wants, but at the same time what he does and doesn't like. He definitly looks like his daddy. Oh my goodness does he look like his daddy. The hairline just does it for you. But he has this little old man look to him as well. He doesn't look like a baby, but a miniature adult. His eyebrows and eyelashes are so light or nonexisten that his face is just so gorgeous to me. When he sleeps on your shoulder his face looks completely like a baby, but when you lay him in the bed and look at him, it's the little old man face. When he is awake he has the brightest eyes and I can't wait to see what color they turn out to be ( our options are dark brown or light brown so not much mystery, but still).
I am so happy he is here. Pnut is trying to be a good helper and a great big sister. She has gotten better about not being so touchy. She really wants to help though so we are working our way through certain things. She started first grade yesterday so she is busy that way now as well.
It was a long journey to get our little man here. Lots of ultrasounds, no weight gain :) but lots of discomfort. I am happy to be in my bed again and be able to lay comfortably. My joints don't hurt anymore, my leg is no longer numb.
Cashew is almost two weeks old and I drove yesterday. Long trips are not in my future for another two or three weeks, but around town I am ok. No heavy lifting except my boy and maybe a gallon of milk. Thank you for all the prayers, visits, and meals! If you are looking for pics, please visit my FB, there are always new ones going up :)
My last post talked about my choice to have a C-section. I never knew how ironic that post would turn out to be, because as it turns out, it was a blessing to have a C-Section.
D and I arrived on time to the hospital and entered triage to a silent room. There was no hustle and bustle, in fact when I mentioned it the nurse shushed me! :) I was put into a room, changed and they gave me my IV. My doctor had wanted me to have an entire bag and a half of fluid before surgery. That stuff is cold mind you and D and I laughed at how cold my arm got. The nurse made me laugh because she said the first bag wasn't going in fast enough. I was really calm during my two hours in triage. I wasn't able to update my statuses on FB, but I was able to text message so my friend J updated on FB for me. Yes, I am a crazy person about FB, I admit it!
Even when the anesthesiologist came in I was fine. He asked me questions which I answered. He explained different scenarios about what I should and should not feel (I was completely asleep for my last one). I was good, even making some jokes. Then the surgical nurse came and my gut dropped. D followed us and the nurse let him into the recovery room to wait for someone to come get him. I became a shivering, almost hysterical wreck. But not hysterical as in screaming. I just started crying silently, my nerves had set in quickly and I was trying to be calm. I prayed, I breathed, and I silently did what I was told. Then the nurse saw and immediately got super close and tried to reassure me. She told me I should be happy and that there was nothing to worry about, which I knew, but my nerves are a funny mess of emotions for me and it took me a little bit to calm down. Then the anesthesiologist did my spinal and I started getting nervous all over again! Cried some more, but settled more easily. They laid me down and everything started to go numb and I was so happy that it did. It is the weirdest sensation I have ever experienced. I did get sick a little from my blood pressure leveling out, but it quickly went away and I realized: I WAS LAYING ON MY BACK AND IT FELT MARVELOUS!
They brought D in just after they started giving me some oxygen. Unfortunately I started itching all over my face and could barely hold D's hand because I was itching my face (around the mask, my eyes, forehead, etc.) The anesthesiologist let me take the mask off and I believe he began to give me benadryl through me IV because I really became calm after that. The doctors were working and I thought at any moment Cashew was going to be born, but the waiting just kept on.
We didn't think anything was wrong, but we realized soon that something was taking too long. It turns out during my previous two surgeries things had shifted inside and my bladder was in the wrong place. Now I don't know anything about anatomy, but my doctor was concerned about identifying where my bladder was and making sure not to harm it. So they had to do some inflating my bladder with blue dye backwards through my catheter. That way if my doctor nicked my bladder he would know. That craziness lasted for almost an hour. My surgery started around 11:40am.
At 12:35 Cashew was born. It was so quick. One minute the room was fairly quiet, the next you could hear our little man crying loudly. Then the doctor said, "Oh wow. There's a true knot." Now, if you are "ER" fans you will remember that Carter's baby died in utero because of a true knot. It is where the baby has flipped and flopped around and created a knot in the umbilical cord. Carter's baby's knot tightened to the point of oxygen deprevation and the baby died. Cashew's knot was loose, but large. He also had a REALLY long cord. So, if I think too hard about what could have happened during a vaginal delivery I shiver a little bit.
Poor D almost couldn't go see Cashew on the warming table because it was across the room and on the other side of the curtain protecting him from see me all open and stuff. You know the whole road precaution about driving and oncoming traffic headlights are blinding you? Look at the lines on the road, that's what D had to do. A few minutes after he went over there the anesthesiologist asked if D wanted to see the knot, D said no, I said YES! So the anesthesiologist took the camera from D and took a picture of it for me :) D brought Cashew over and held him to my face so I could just nuzzle on him and kiss him. It was really nice to just feel him. D was crying a bit, which the nurse that had taken care of me while I cried was just floored over.
My procedure also included a tubal ligation so I assumed that is what happened after that. I had a lot of scar tissue from previous surgeries and as the doctors were working I started to feel more pressure and some of it was not very comfortable. As they continued to work and I said ow a few more times than the anesthesiologist liked, he finally said he was going to give me a sedative. D and Cashew were led out by a nurse, which I knew would happen eventually.
I then woke up in recovery. I looked at the clock across the room and it said 2:30! D was there and so was my BFF Jill. As soon as I woke up, I wanted my baby and I got him. I was so shocked to see how much he looked like Pnut. So much so that they could have been identical. I immediately noticed all the hair he had, but I also noticed differences ( his lips are smaller, his ears are mine instead of D's). He had not a piece out of place.
My surgery had so many ups and downs to it, but there is such a large blessing in my decision to have a C-section. My doctor says my surgery was the hardest he has every done. I had lots of scarring, lots of bleeding (which upon blood work it was decided I didn't need to receive any blood), and then there was the bladder thing. The easiest part of my surgery was delivering Cashew. They did give me some general anesthetic, it is my assumption that because of the length of time it was taking my spinal was beginning to fade. Not to mention the next 24 hours of me receiving benadryl every hour because it seems I am allergic to the numbing agent they put in your back first before the spinal. I swear I thought I was going to scratch my skin off!
I held off on major pain medication for about 18 hours as well. I only took one shot and then everything was oral meds from then on.
Cashew is definitely different from his sister. He is a fussypants as I call him, but each day as he gets used to the world he is less fussy. He lets you know what he wants, but at the same time what he does and doesn't like. He definitly looks like his daddy. Oh my goodness does he look like his daddy. The hairline just does it for you. But he has this little old man look to him as well. He doesn't look like a baby, but a miniature adult. His eyebrows and eyelashes are so light or nonexisten that his face is just so gorgeous to me. When he sleeps on your shoulder his face looks completely like a baby, but when you lay him in the bed and look at him, it's the little old man face. When he is awake he has the brightest eyes and I can't wait to see what color they turn out to be ( our options are dark brown or light brown so not much mystery, but still).
I am so happy he is here. Pnut is trying to be a good helper and a great big sister. She has gotten better about not being so touchy. She really wants to help though so we are working our way through certain things. She started first grade yesterday so she is busy that way now as well.
It was a long journey to get our little man here. Lots of ultrasounds, no weight gain :) but lots of discomfort. I am happy to be in my bed again and be able to lay comfortably. My joints don't hurt anymore, my leg is no longer numb.
Cashew is almost two weeks old and I drove yesterday. Long trips are not in my future for another two or three weeks, but around town I am ok. No heavy lifting except my boy and maybe a gallon of milk. Thank you for all the prayers, visits, and meals! If you are looking for pics, please visit my FB, there are always new ones going up :)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Where I talk about my choice
I don't consider myself a very brave person. I think that it is part of being a teacher to hide your vulnerabilities at times so that students don't get the upper hand. I think that kind of then drives other parts of me into a place where I don't show my true personality to a lot of people as well. This typically winds up being me being very non-confrontational with my problems but I can be quite vocal about my problems to third parties instead of addressing the issues directly. But, I guess by saying this I know what I am capable of so to speak.
So, why am I electing for a C-section? To say it's easier isn't really true. Is it easier? Yes. Will the recovery be easier? Who knows. When I had Pnut she was born at almost 10pm Tuesday and I was home walking around with minimal issues by Thursday at 8:30pm. This time around I am not getting my hopes up that my recovery will be as simple, but I can wish for it and see what happens.
My birthing experience with Pnut was not the ideal situation. Through more reading this time around I found that what happened with my body is actually something that happens to women a lot which calls for c-sections. I laugh this time around since my doctor has assured me this time will be more "civilized". A scheduled C-section is low key, low stress, there is more time to wait for medicines to kick in and after all that is the fact that you have an actual due date, not a guess.
So it turns out that I am addicted to baby birth shows when I am pregnant. I really shouldn't watch them so much, but it seems that there is a lack of programming or something right now because it seems like that is all I can find sometimes. As I watch the shows and see the different scenarios I find myself evaluating my decision to have an elected surgury and my decision just continues to be further cemented.
I admire women who know their bodies and limitations to the extent that they would choose to have a natural child birthing experience. I watch the different ones or hear people tell me stories and there is a little niggling in my brain that goes (you should try it) and then I remember what labor felt like before my body started reversing its progress and go, no not doing that again.
I can't wait to hear about the different birth stories that will be coming to me in the next few months. I think there are 4 besides myself at this point. Each experience is going to be different and that is the beauty of birth.
Now for the fear: I was asleep last time! I don't know what to expect during the surgery at all. I know the process, I know what is going to be done, but I have absolutely no idea what it is going to feel like! Crazy to think about for my second c-section. I always joke with people that I went to sleep and woke up with a baby. I question my sanity when I say, "Hmm, can I just do that again too?" Remember this is me the non-confrontational person. This is an example. Let's go with the most extreme scenario imaginable to escape a little bit of fear.
We are 3 days away.
Prayers for:
-Smooth surgery (this includes meds working when they should and procedures going swiftly)
-No surprises (the last c-section they found a cyst on my ovary and we had crazy issues from that for the next few months)
-Healthy baby Cashew
-A recovery that is not necessarily quick, but manageable
Thanks!
So, why am I electing for a C-section? To say it's easier isn't really true. Is it easier? Yes. Will the recovery be easier? Who knows. When I had Pnut she was born at almost 10pm Tuesday and I was home walking around with minimal issues by Thursday at 8:30pm. This time around I am not getting my hopes up that my recovery will be as simple, but I can wish for it and see what happens.
My birthing experience with Pnut was not the ideal situation. Through more reading this time around I found that what happened with my body is actually something that happens to women a lot which calls for c-sections. I laugh this time around since my doctor has assured me this time will be more "civilized". A scheduled C-section is low key, low stress, there is more time to wait for medicines to kick in and after all that is the fact that you have an actual due date, not a guess.
So it turns out that I am addicted to baby birth shows when I am pregnant. I really shouldn't watch them so much, but it seems that there is a lack of programming or something right now because it seems like that is all I can find sometimes. As I watch the shows and see the different scenarios I find myself evaluating my decision to have an elected surgury and my decision just continues to be further cemented.
I admire women who know their bodies and limitations to the extent that they would choose to have a natural child birthing experience. I watch the different ones or hear people tell me stories and there is a little niggling in my brain that goes (you should try it) and then I remember what labor felt like before my body started reversing its progress and go, no not doing that again.
I can't wait to hear about the different birth stories that will be coming to me in the next few months. I think there are 4 besides myself at this point. Each experience is going to be different and that is the beauty of birth.
Now for the fear: I was asleep last time! I don't know what to expect during the surgery at all. I know the process, I know what is going to be done, but I have absolutely no idea what it is going to feel like! Crazy to think about for my second c-section. I always joke with people that I went to sleep and woke up with a baby. I question my sanity when I say, "Hmm, can I just do that again too?" Remember this is me the non-confrontational person. This is an example. Let's go with the most extreme scenario imaginable to escape a little bit of fear.
We are 3 days away.
Prayers for:
-Smooth surgery (this includes meds working when they should and procedures going swiftly)
-No surprises (the last c-section they found a cyst on my ovary and we had crazy issues from that for the next few months)
-Healthy baby Cashew
-A recovery that is not necessarily quick, but manageable
Thanks!
Monday, August 15, 2011
It's almost here!
So as compared to my appointment two weeks ago, this one was very smooth. My appointment was an hour earlier than the last one and I was out in 20 minutes. Thank you Lord! I really didn't think I could handle waiting another 2 hours like the last time.
Cashew heartbeat was a good rate at 140. He is still head down which is good too because despite me having a C-section when babies are head down for sections it makes the procedure faster too.
It would appear that I have finally gained weight. Two weeks ago I had gained about 3 pounds and today it seems I have gained another 3. Since my first appointment in January was in the afternoon and my last two appointments have been in the morning I have been trying to keep up with that differential. Usually I weigh myself in the morning on the day by weeks change. So as compared to my other weekly weights in the morning I am at 6 pounds gained. I count this as a blessing since for women my size we are not supposed to gain more than 15 pounds.
So now we are at T minus 12 days until my C-section. I have had moments of nesting and am feeling ready finally. At first I was wanting to do things to get ready but it felt too early to start, but now it is so close so having the things finally done feels really good.
Our family is going to change so much with Cashew coming. I still don't know how it is possible to go from 3-4 without an emotional upheaval. You are used to loving two people and suddenly here is another person that enters the mix and will be new and loved the same. We will see how that goes for us, it will definitely be an adventure. :)
Cashew heartbeat was a good rate at 140. He is still head down which is good too because despite me having a C-section when babies are head down for sections it makes the procedure faster too.
It would appear that I have finally gained weight. Two weeks ago I had gained about 3 pounds and today it seems I have gained another 3. Since my first appointment in January was in the afternoon and my last two appointments have been in the morning I have been trying to keep up with that differential. Usually I weigh myself in the morning on the day by weeks change. So as compared to my other weekly weights in the morning I am at 6 pounds gained. I count this as a blessing since for women my size we are not supposed to gain more than 15 pounds.
So now we are at T minus 12 days until my C-section. I have had moments of nesting and am feeling ready finally. At first I was wanting to do things to get ready but it felt too early to start, but now it is so close so having the things finally done feels really good.
Our family is going to change so much with Cashew coming. I still don't know how it is possible to go from 3-4 without an emotional upheaval. You are used to loving two people and suddenly here is another person that enters the mix and will be new and loved the same. We will see how that goes for us, it will definitely be an adventure. :)
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Moving
So last week D and I are laying in bed and Cashew is being extra compliant. Moving all over the place and actually feeling like he is doing 2 somersaults that actually hurt quite a bit. But, seeing as Pnut never let her dad feel her move too much in utero it was nice for D to feel. Over the next few days I notice that Cashew's patterns change. Mornings and evenings used to be heavy moving times for him. That had changed to where I was only feeling slight shifts or jabs every once in a while. My doctor had been pushing me for kick counts and honestly who has time to lay down for 1-2 hours to do it, but I did try.
Which brings us to yesterday's doctor's appt. I arrive five minutes early, my appt is at 9:50. I do not get put into a room until 10:35 and the doctor doesn't come in until 11:15. I was seriously pissed. I can't even be nice on the blog and say annoyed. I was definitely pissed. So he begins his normal questions and I say everything seems fine. He then asks about kick counts and I'm honest. He is moving, just not as strongly as before. I figure, the kid is running out of room so this should be fine. My doctor has that look on his face like, oh no this is terrible. I had also threw in my jab that in the hour and a half I had been at the office the baby had moved/kicked at least 8 times that I felt. I was SO pissed. So then he asks me if I have any plans for the rest of the day. Uh, yes. I have to work because it is the one time in the summer that I work, and it is the most important day of the contracted work that I do.
Doctor of course doesn't care and really wants me to go for a non-stress test. I am just deeply annoyed with the whole situation, beginning to freak myself out, etc. What makes me even more aggravated is that the baby's heartrate is 135, Dr. did a brief ultrasound and could see baby moving, head down, and heartbeat. Plus I had said that the baby moved at least 8 times in 1 1/2 hours. Grr. Ok fine, he managed to get me into test right away so I have to walk across Kaiser campus from doctor office to hospital. Call D while I'm walking to update him, text friends I'm working with to let them know what is going on. Get to testing, lay down and do what you probably shouldn't do during a non-stress test: start to ball!
Nurses checked on me and had to calm me down, they told me baby was moving fine and just to relax, but when you are ticked off, upset and then trying to calm yourself down, doesn't always work. Finally relaxed.
Now here is my questions about movement. According to the monitors the baby was moving a lot. But in my 20 minutes of monitoring I really only felt 4 movements. How then are kick counts effective if you can't feel what they count as movement!? GRR.
So, Cashew is fine. I had a craptastic morning, made it to work only about 5-10 minutes late and was completely disjointed from the whole class. Which made me irritated, because I wanted to be all there, and wasn't.
Right now, it is almost 6am. I have been awake since 5 when D left for work because my hips are just in agony. Yesterday and today have been the worst, and this morning I decided it wasn't even worth trying to find a position that works because when you are pregnant there are really only two positions you can lay in in bed, left side and right side. I have the pillow between my legs, I have the pillow that is in front of me supporting Cashew and me. Hips are still on fire constantly. 24 days can't fly fast enough.
I will still maintain that I enjoy pregnancy. I will never complain about the pregnancy part. I will however complain this time about the joint pain because it really hurts.
Let's all hope that my next appt in two weeks is a cakewalk, because I really need it to be :)
Which brings us to yesterday's doctor's appt. I arrive five minutes early, my appt is at 9:50. I do not get put into a room until 10:35 and the doctor doesn't come in until 11:15. I was seriously pissed. I can't even be nice on the blog and say annoyed. I was definitely pissed. So he begins his normal questions and I say everything seems fine. He then asks about kick counts and I'm honest. He is moving, just not as strongly as before. I figure, the kid is running out of room so this should be fine. My doctor has that look on his face like, oh no this is terrible. I had also threw in my jab that in the hour and a half I had been at the office the baby had moved/kicked at least 8 times that I felt. I was SO pissed. So then he asks me if I have any plans for the rest of the day. Uh, yes. I have to work because it is the one time in the summer that I work, and it is the most important day of the contracted work that I do.
Doctor of course doesn't care and really wants me to go for a non-stress test. I am just deeply annoyed with the whole situation, beginning to freak myself out, etc. What makes me even more aggravated is that the baby's heartrate is 135, Dr. did a brief ultrasound and could see baby moving, head down, and heartbeat. Plus I had said that the baby moved at least 8 times in 1 1/2 hours. Grr. Ok fine, he managed to get me into test right away so I have to walk across Kaiser campus from doctor office to hospital. Call D while I'm walking to update him, text friends I'm working with to let them know what is going on. Get to testing, lay down and do what you probably shouldn't do during a non-stress test: start to ball!
Nurses checked on me and had to calm me down, they told me baby was moving fine and just to relax, but when you are ticked off, upset and then trying to calm yourself down, doesn't always work. Finally relaxed.
Now here is my questions about movement. According to the monitors the baby was moving a lot. But in my 20 minutes of monitoring I really only felt 4 movements. How then are kick counts effective if you can't feel what they count as movement!? GRR.
So, Cashew is fine. I had a craptastic morning, made it to work only about 5-10 minutes late and was completely disjointed from the whole class. Which made me irritated, because I wanted to be all there, and wasn't.
Right now, it is almost 6am. I have been awake since 5 when D left for work because my hips are just in agony. Yesterday and today have been the worst, and this morning I decided it wasn't even worth trying to find a position that works because when you are pregnant there are really only two positions you can lay in in bed, left side and right side. I have the pillow between my legs, I have the pillow that is in front of me supporting Cashew and me. Hips are still on fire constantly. 24 days can't fly fast enough.
I will still maintain that I enjoy pregnancy. I will never complain about the pregnancy part. I will however complain this time about the joint pain because it really hurts.
Let's all hope that my next appt in two weeks is a cakewalk, because I really need it to be :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
A light at the end of the tunnel
After today I have, hopefully, only two appointments left with my doctor. Got there today and stepped on the scale to find I had lost another pound. This is the biggest head scratcher for me since I gained weight with Pnut, but with Cashew it would seem that he wants everything and there is no excess. Could be a good thing. Blood pressure is good. When the doctor came in and asked how things were going all my answers are in the affirmative.
No issues? Nope.
Baby moving regularly? Yep
Taking vitamins? Yep
My surgery date seems to be set, my preop appointment is set. Things are progressing and it is kind of crazy that it is finally close to being here.
Cashew's heartrate has increased. I learned today that that is a good thing. Doctor said that when heartrates don't increase over time then it can be a concern. Good to know. Ultrasound showed that he is still head down and in the words of the doctor "has long legs." Not surprising either seeing as his sister broke the 4 foot mark before she turned 6.
Ah, Pnut. She is a character. Loving one moment, stubborn and immoveable the next. She got a haircut recently and looks so grown up with her short little "bob". She is swimming regularly and we have been going to Soak City, which is nice for me because she gets worn out playing and I move from the water, to the lounger, repeat. She is excited for her brother to come, and I truly pray that she continues to love him as much as she seems to outside of the womb as inside it. It will definitely be an experience with the transition from 3 to 4. We have been 3 for so long it is a little scary to think about.
33 weeks and 3 days gone. Time takes time to be sure, but it is very close.
No issues? Nope.
Baby moving regularly? Yep
Taking vitamins? Yep
My surgery date seems to be set, my preop appointment is set. Things are progressing and it is kind of crazy that it is finally close to being here.
Cashew's heartrate has increased. I learned today that that is a good thing. Doctor said that when heartrates don't increase over time then it can be a concern. Good to know. Ultrasound showed that he is still head down and in the words of the doctor "has long legs." Not surprising either seeing as his sister broke the 4 foot mark before she turned 6.
Ah, Pnut. She is a character. Loving one moment, stubborn and immoveable the next. She got a haircut recently and looks so grown up with her short little "bob". She is swimming regularly and we have been going to Soak City, which is nice for me because she gets worn out playing and I move from the water, to the lounger, repeat. She is excited for her brother to come, and I truly pray that she continues to love him as much as she seems to outside of the womb as inside it. It will definitely be an experience with the transition from 3 to 4. We have been 3 for so long it is a little scary to think about.
33 weeks and 3 days gone. Time takes time to be sure, but it is very close.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
It's getter closer, and it feels great
When I had Pnut I went through a real hard time afterwards feeling like I had been cheated. I had had a beautiful pregnancy with her. I had absolutely no complications at all. Labor and Delivery were another story. My initial labor started on a Saturday, but I wasn't admitted until Tuesday. I spent all day in the hospital and my body stalled, not necessarily my contractions. With Pnut's heartrate dropping on a regular basis, and my body resisting medications designed to help me relax we finally went in for a C-section. Even that did not go as planned as Pnut's heartrate kept dropping to the 70s and 80s while they prepped me and the spinal did not take effect fast enough for everyone's comfort level. So, I was put under general anesthetic and when I woke up, it was to a quiet room. I was quickly reassured that Pnut was fine and beautiful and with D. Which she was.
I had felt like I missed the big event. You watch the baby shows on TV and see the joy and excitement when you see the baby for the first time. I didn't have that. So needless to say watching those shows afterwards were quite frustrating and to be honest, anger inducing.
Well, with Cashew, I am feeling a bit more reassured. I discussed my last delivery with my doctor who reassured me that since we are doing a planned C-section this time around we have more time to let the medication take effect, there is no hurry and no distress on Cashew to worry about.
I can also watch the baby shows on TV again. I respect women that give birth naturally, I respect women even more that can do it without medication. I tried, my body failed me, I had medication and those failed me too, Once Bitten, Twice Shy. I am excited to meet Cashew. Pnut is drawing our new family all the time including Cashew. She accepts his name finally! That was a chore. She wants to have input on his middle name, but unfortunately all the names she has been exposed to are Hispanic. The one that sticks out is "Cashew" Lopez. It is just hilarious what she comes up with. She also wanted Jose #3 since there was a #1 and #2 in her class this year.
She cracks me up. My expected surgery date is August 26th and it can't come fast enough!
I had felt like I missed the big event. You watch the baby shows on TV and see the joy and excitement when you see the baby for the first time. I didn't have that. So needless to say watching those shows afterwards were quite frustrating and to be honest, anger inducing.
Well, with Cashew, I am feeling a bit more reassured. I discussed my last delivery with my doctor who reassured me that since we are doing a planned C-section this time around we have more time to let the medication take effect, there is no hurry and no distress on Cashew to worry about.
I can also watch the baby shows on TV again. I respect women that give birth naturally, I respect women even more that can do it without medication. I tried, my body failed me, I had medication and those failed me too, Once Bitten, Twice Shy. I am excited to meet Cashew. Pnut is drawing our new family all the time including Cashew. She accepts his name finally! That was a chore. She wants to have input on his middle name, but unfortunately all the names she has been exposed to are Hispanic. The one that sticks out is "Cashew" Lopez. It is just hilarious what she comes up with. She also wanted Jose #3 since there was a #1 and #2 in her class this year.
She cracks me up. My expected surgery date is August 26th and it can't come fast enough!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Feeling Full and weird scientific
28 weeks and 3 days. Roughly 9 1/2 weeks left. Wow.
I completed another school year Friday and am so excited for this summer. There are so many things happening, yet so much time to relax at the same time.
Yesterday I had my first real gripe about being pregnant. The hip and tail bone pain is annoying, but I can deal; the pinched nerve is painful at times, but I can get over it. No, yesterday as I walked from one end of my house to another I was so winded that I felt like I had just jogged on a full stomach and wanted to pant like a dog to recover. My guess is I have a baby head or rump pushing up into my diaphram. After laying down and actually being able to breath it got better. I don't mind the painful things, I can get through those. I do mind being limited in my ability to walk 50 feet. That is not ok. Despite that I am still getting excited for the end of summer and the arrival of Cashew.
Pnut has 4 more days of school and then our journey for the summer begins. I love my kid, she is just a little stubborn sometimes, so I hope I can keep busy with her, but not wear myself out at the same time.
On Friday I also had my Rhogam shot. It is interesting to explain this to people because not all of them understand. Essentially it is a shot that prevents me from rejecting any foreign blood cells that may enter my system from the baby. Why is this necessary? Well, because I am Rh negative and D is Rh positive. If you remember science from school and if you remember punnent (?) squares for blood typing, they would show how two people with different blood types can have x,y,z types of children usually with a 4 square grid. Well, we had a 25% chance of having a child with positive Rh and that is what Pnut is. Now with Cashew we will see if he ends up with a positive or negative Rh at birth. If he is negative cool, if he is positive I get another shot. I get a little geeky with this because I think it is kind of cool. Especially when I tell people that both of my parents were Rh positive and I am the negative (or that 25% chance) child. D and I have 75% chance of having a Rh negative kid and Pnut was the 25% chance kid.
See completely geeky, ignore my moment. :) I will have interesting examples for middle school science.
My Rhogam is just another stepping stone to Cashew's arrival. Soon the appts every two weeks start, and then suddenly it will be Pnut's 6th birthday, and Cashew will be right around the corner. Oh, with D and my 10th anniversary thrown in there too. Lots to come this summer!
I completed another school year Friday and am so excited for this summer. There are so many things happening, yet so much time to relax at the same time.
Yesterday I had my first real gripe about being pregnant. The hip and tail bone pain is annoying, but I can deal; the pinched nerve is painful at times, but I can get over it. No, yesterday as I walked from one end of my house to another I was so winded that I felt like I had just jogged on a full stomach and wanted to pant like a dog to recover. My guess is I have a baby head or rump pushing up into my diaphram. After laying down and actually being able to breath it got better. I don't mind the painful things, I can get through those. I do mind being limited in my ability to walk 50 feet. That is not ok. Despite that I am still getting excited for the end of summer and the arrival of Cashew.
Pnut has 4 more days of school and then our journey for the summer begins. I love my kid, she is just a little stubborn sometimes, so I hope I can keep busy with her, but not wear myself out at the same time.
On Friday I also had my Rhogam shot. It is interesting to explain this to people because not all of them understand. Essentially it is a shot that prevents me from rejecting any foreign blood cells that may enter my system from the baby. Why is this necessary? Well, because I am Rh negative and D is Rh positive. If you remember science from school and if you remember punnent (?) squares for blood typing, they would show how two people with different blood types can have x,y,z types of children usually with a 4 square grid. Well, we had a 25% chance of having a child with positive Rh and that is what Pnut is. Now with Cashew we will see if he ends up with a positive or negative Rh at birth. If he is negative cool, if he is positive I get another shot. I get a little geeky with this because I think it is kind of cool. Especially when I tell people that both of my parents were Rh positive and I am the negative (or that 25% chance) child. D and I have 75% chance of having a Rh negative kid and Pnut was the 25% chance kid.
See completely geeky, ignore my moment. :) I will have interesting examples for middle school science.
My Rhogam is just another stepping stone to Cashew's arrival. Soon the appts every two weeks start, and then suddenly it will be Pnut's 6th birthday, and Cashew will be right around the corner. Oh, with D and my 10th anniversary thrown in there too. Lots to come this summer!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Just the right size :)
I went to have my follow up ultrasound today and I am happy to say that everything appears to be fine with the baby.
I got there on time and had drank my water like I was supposed to . . . and almost died when I wasn't called until 20 minutes after my appointment time. Thankfully I had a wonderful tech who let me use the restroom first and would take the pictures needed at the end. Amen!
Cashew was automatically found to be head down and the tech said that the best measurement they use for size is the abdomen. Which measured 26 weeks 4 days. Spot on for due date since today I am 26 weeks 5 days. The tech had also asked if I was sure of my LMP, which I was! I saw once again that Cashew is a he, and then the scan continued. His femur (upper leg bone) measured 27 weeks 4 days, and his head measured around 28 weeks. It was so nice to see his little face 8 weeks older. I got a frontal picture of his face and you can see the beginnings of cheeks, it looks like he and Pnut will share the same chin, and his frontal view reminded me of the picture I am going to change my FB profile picture to. It is of Pnut at 2 days old and home from the hospital.
At the end of the scan I asked the tech how much Cashew weighs and he is estimated to be around 2 pounds 4 oz. Everything I read for 27 weeks is around 1.9 pounds so he is over. I guess I was right and I am not the one gaining the weight, Cashew is :). I like to ask my ultrasound techs their years of experience just for fun. Not only was my tech male (and probably the nicest, most cooperative, and informative man EVER), but he had been doing scans for 30 years. Score! He made me laugh because he said that he didn't know how my dr. could have gotten 32 weeks from 25, but that he has told doctors to throw the tape measures away. He listened to me when I mentioned that Cashew had been breech, which is sometimes a cause of larger fundal heights. He measured my fluid and it is still within normal range as well.
So for now, I am a happy mama. I got to see my young man's face and he is just the right size.
I got there on time and had drank my water like I was supposed to . . . and almost died when I wasn't called until 20 minutes after my appointment time. Thankfully I had a wonderful tech who let me use the restroom first and would take the pictures needed at the end. Amen!
Cashew was automatically found to be head down and the tech said that the best measurement they use for size is the abdomen. Which measured 26 weeks 4 days. Spot on for due date since today I am 26 weeks 5 days. The tech had also asked if I was sure of my LMP, which I was! I saw once again that Cashew is a he, and then the scan continued. His femur (upper leg bone) measured 27 weeks 4 days, and his head measured around 28 weeks. It was so nice to see his little face 8 weeks older. I got a frontal picture of his face and you can see the beginnings of cheeks, it looks like he and Pnut will share the same chin, and his frontal view reminded me of the picture I am going to change my FB profile picture to. It is of Pnut at 2 days old and home from the hospital.
At the end of the scan I asked the tech how much Cashew weighs and he is estimated to be around 2 pounds 4 oz. Everything I read for 27 weeks is around 1.9 pounds so he is over. I guess I was right and I am not the one gaining the weight, Cashew is :). I like to ask my ultrasound techs their years of experience just for fun. Not only was my tech male (and probably the nicest, most cooperative, and informative man EVER), but he had been doing scans for 30 years. Score! He made me laugh because he said that he didn't know how my dr. could have gotten 32 weeks from 25, but that he has told doctors to throw the tape measures away. He listened to me when I mentioned that Cashew had been breech, which is sometimes a cause of larger fundal heights. He measured my fluid and it is still within normal range as well.
So for now, I am a happy mama. I got to see my young man's face and he is just the right size.
Monday, May 23, 2011
25 week check
So I finally gained about 3 pounds with Cashew, and I am 25 wks 3 days along. I had my doctor's appt today and everything seemed great. My blood pressure was nice, Cashew's heartbeat was about 140. It all seemed great. Then the doctor measured my fundal height (size of uterus) Yeah, I'm 25 weeks 3 days, but measuring 33. My doctor who is always quick to reassure said that this is just an estimate. But, last month he couldn't find the top of my uterus easily, and this month I'm measuring 8 weeks ahead. No bueno.
As a result I am off to another diagnostic ultrasound on June 1st to check on Cashew's growth. The doctor didnt' give me any indication of what we would be looking for so let's hope everything is normal and my uterus is just in a higher position than normal, but he is measuring the right size.
Another fun fact about Cashew is that he is breech. Which explains why I am constantly feeling like I am being kicked in the cervix. He also has asleep and awake patterns that are pretty spot on my schedule so that is nice too.
Hopefully I will know more next week, good news would be nice and not a moment to ruin my birthday the next day :)
As a result I am off to another diagnostic ultrasound on June 1st to check on Cashew's growth. The doctor didnt' give me any indication of what we would be looking for so let's hope everything is normal and my uterus is just in a higher position than normal, but he is measuring the right size.
Another fun fact about Cashew is that he is breech. Which explains why I am constantly feeling like I am being kicked in the cervix. He also has asleep and awake patterns that are pretty spot on my schedule so that is nice too.
Hopefully I will know more next week, good news would be nice and not a moment to ruin my birthday the next day :)
Friday, April 29, 2011
It has started :)
The little flutters and flips of movement that only I could feel got bigger yesterday. I had a feeling Cashew was going to be more stubborn than Pnut was in utero. At least with Pnut I could feel her move all the time. The moment anyone else would lay hands on my belly she would stop moving (in spite I believe)
With Cashew when I felt movement and placed hands on my own belly nothing would happen. It was quite frustrating. But yesterday, I had movement for over half an hour and about 3 good kicks to my hand. It makes me happy. It soothes my nerves that still sit and wonder with the percentage of issues out there for women who are pregnant if everything is ok in there. You would have thought that during my first pregnancy I would have been this paranoid. Nope, I think becoming a mom has made me more paranoid.
If you know me at all you will realize this behavior shouldn't be surprising. Shh . . .I'm a micromanager! If I can't control a situation it's shocking I don't break out into hives. The reason we get the gender determined in our pregnancies is so that I can be in control. So with Cashew, I'm skeptical of my ultrasound still. I hesitate to refer to Cashew as a "he" yet. 4d ultrasounds are being priced and researched - JUST IN CASE. I would hate to have a baby girl all in blues and greens if there was a cord instead of a --- you know :P
For now, I am just happy to feel movement. I'm also happy that Cashew seems to have a sleep pattern right now that fits with my day wonderfully. I start to feel movement around 7am and it stops around 9pm. Can we say routine?? Let's hope our days and nights don't get mixed up as time passes.
With Cashew when I felt movement and placed hands on my own belly nothing would happen. It was quite frustrating. But yesterday, I had movement for over half an hour and about 3 good kicks to my hand. It makes me happy. It soothes my nerves that still sit and wonder with the percentage of issues out there for women who are pregnant if everything is ok in there. You would have thought that during my first pregnancy I would have been this paranoid. Nope, I think becoming a mom has made me more paranoid.
If you know me at all you will realize this behavior shouldn't be surprising. Shh . . .I'm a micromanager! If I can't control a situation it's shocking I don't break out into hives. The reason we get the gender determined in our pregnancies is so that I can be in control. So with Cashew, I'm skeptical of my ultrasound still. I hesitate to refer to Cashew as a "he" yet. 4d ultrasounds are being priced and researched - JUST IN CASE. I would hate to have a baby girl all in blues and greens if there was a cord instead of a --- you know :P
For now, I am just happy to feel movement. I'm also happy that Cashew seems to have a sleep pattern right now that fits with my day wonderfully. I start to feel movement around 7am and it stops around 9pm. Can we say routine?? Let's hope our days and nights don't get mixed up as time passes.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Interesting comparisons
I can remember waking up on Easter morning and getting the traditional basket filled with jelly beans, malted eggs, and a chocolate bunny. David and I were talking and realized we are interesting basket givers for Pnut. My mom has been awesome at giving her grandkids kid-friendly baskets with eggs filled with goldfish, peanuts, m&m's, etc. My MIL gives her candy, maybe a movie, and a few times has given her an outfit.
When my MIL gave Pnut an outfit for the first time I realized that there is a looooonnngg space of time from Christmas to Pnut's birthday and Easter is a great time to fill in a gap. So, we try and give her little toys, clothes, or things that she needs at Easter too in lieu of candy. This year her basket included: a chocolate bunny (we caved for the first time on this, but it is small), fruit roll-ups, a go-fish card game, a new 100 piece puzzle, flower seeds to plant (safe in the place we all live *grin*) an LED glow stick for the desert, and some pencils. According to Pnut this morning the Easter bunny is AWESOME. This was before she saw the note at the bottom of her bucket to go look in the garage. We used some of her leftover birthday money and got her a bigger bike. It still has training wheels, but she is super close to having the confidence to take them off. She states she wants a skateboard, but we have convinced her to learn to master two wheeled bikes first.
Happy Easter for the last time from our family of three!
When my MIL gave Pnut an outfit for the first time I realized that there is a looooonnngg space of time from Christmas to Pnut's birthday and Easter is a great time to fill in a gap. So, we try and give her little toys, clothes, or things that she needs at Easter too in lieu of candy. This year her basket included: a chocolate bunny (we caved for the first time on this, but it is small), fruit roll-ups, a go-fish card game, a new 100 piece puzzle, flower seeds to plant (safe in the place we all live *grin*) an LED glow stick for the desert, and some pencils. According to Pnut this morning the Easter bunny is AWESOME. This was before she saw the note at the bottom of her bucket to go look in the garage. We used some of her leftover birthday money and got her a bigger bike. It still has training wheels, but she is super close to having the confidence to take them off. She states she wants a skateboard, but we have convinced her to learn to master two wheeled bikes first.
Happy Easter for the last time from our family of three!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Safe in the Place We Live
Pnut is on spring break this week and is busy playing with friends while I work. This morning as I was leaving she asked me where I was going and I told her. I also told her that on Friday I would be home with her, just her and me. She then said to me.
Pnut: Mommy can we go get trash so that it's good in the place that we all live?
Me: Do you mean you want to go pick up trash?
Pnut: Yes, because it's good to be safe in the place where we all live, and not dirty. Like in Kai-lan.
My daughter is quick to pick up things as you can see. She has a very kind heart underneath her stubborn independent outside persona. D has taken her since she was 2 to the annual Desert Cleanup in Barstow. She constantly picks trash up outside and will say, "Look I'm making it good in the place we all live."
Now, to see if she really wants to do this, the first idea that popped into my head was going with some bags to pick up trash at the beach. But if the weather is crazy, we may just go to a park, or even just for a walk. You never know what needs cleaning in the place we all live.
Pnut: Mommy can we go get trash so that it's good in the place that we all live?
Me: Do you mean you want to go pick up trash?
Pnut: Yes, because it's good to be safe in the place where we all live, and not dirty. Like in Kai-lan.
My daughter is quick to pick up things as you can see. She has a very kind heart underneath her stubborn independent outside persona. D has taken her since she was 2 to the annual Desert Cleanup in Barstow. She constantly picks trash up outside and will say, "Look I'm making it good in the place we all live."
Now, to see if she really wants to do this, the first idea that popped into my head was going with some bags to pick up trash at the beach. But if the weather is crazy, we may just go to a park, or even just for a walk. You never know what needs cleaning in the place we all live.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Many Faces of Pnut
Pnut lost another tooth and no longer has the ability to make the "sssss" sound. It is so stinking cute! She is such a multifaceted child. She is dramatic, stubborn, compassionate, encouraging, and so many other things. She can be argumentative one moment and you think you will never allow her to reach her next birthday, then the next minute we are at the minature golf course with 4 adults and 1 child and she is the best cheerleader for everyone. I love that my daughter is so sweet to others one moment, but she is definitely a work in progress.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Starting Anew
I would like to preface by saying I am not just now joining the blogging community. I have a blog, it just was used in a different manner. I wanted something else. Facebook has changed a bit and it is hard to share certain things with others there. On my other blog I wrote about how frustrated I was that we were not getting pregnant when WE wanted to be. Then I ended up being a classic cliche'. We had tried for five months with no success. It was six years after conceiving Pnut, I was getting depressed. I hadn't had birth control chemicals in my body for over two years. Yes I was a little heavier than before, and I was lacking an ovary, but STILL! My turning point was when I looked at our friends' beautiful babies and just sat quietly while others talked and hid tears. I was so tired and hated that I felt so low that others' happiness in their children made me sad, and what made it even worse was that I have a child already! All I did differently after that was stop paying attention to my body. I was convinced that if it happened, it would happen. In those six total months of trying to conceive I felt pregnant three times, and the third time it was true. Ironically, around the time we conceived my best friend became engaged and I thought, oh well, I will wait to get pregnant now and just lose weight for the wedding. Everybody laugh together! I am very happy about our Cashew due at the end of August. There are some things going on with my feelings about Cashew, none that are placing fault, all have to do with my screwed up head. According to pictures Cashew is a boy! He has a name. His daddy named him before we were married. I was one of THOSE girls that asked their boyfriends what they would name their child if it was a boy. It took a while, but D finally spoke a name, and I like it. Had Pnut been a boy (which we thought she was until the ultrasound) if would have been her name. His middle name is up for debate though. It was supposed to be something else, and now we are changing it. D voiced another opinion the other day, and I think I like it too. I haven't told him that yet of course. We are still trying to get used to the whole boy thing right now. Please excuse if you end up reading more than seeing pictures. I'm not that advanced at blogging. I just figure this is easier than posting a note on FB every doctor's appt. And I can share funny stuff that happens to and with the Nuts.
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