Starting Anew

I would like to preface by saying I am not just now joining the blogging community. I have a blog, it just was used in a different manner. I wanted something else. Facebook has changed a bit and it is hard to share certain things with others there. On my other blog I wrote about how frustrated I was that we were not getting pregnant when WE wanted to be. Then I ended up being a classic cliche'. We had tried for five months with no success. It was six years after conceiving Pnut, I was getting depressed. I hadn't had birth control chemicals in my body for over two years. Yes I was a little heavier than before, and I was lacking an ovary, but STILL! My turning point was when I looked at our friends' beautiful babies and just sat quietly while others talked and hid tears. I was so tired and hated that I felt so low that others' happiness in their children made me sad, and what made it even worse was that I have a child already! All I did differently after that was stop paying attention to my body. I was convinced that if it happened, it would happen. In those six total months of trying to conceive I felt pregnant three times, and the third time it was true. Ironically, around the time we conceived my best friend became engaged and I thought, oh well, I will wait to get pregnant now and just lose weight for the wedding. Everybody laugh together! I am very happy about our Cashew due at the end of August. There are some things going on with my feelings about Cashew, none that are placing fault, all have to do with my screwed up head. According to pictures Cashew is a boy! He has a name. His daddy named him before we were married. I was one of THOSE girls that asked their boyfriends what they would name their child if it was a boy. It took a while, but D finally spoke a name, and I like it. Had Pnut been a boy (which we thought she was until the ultrasound) if would have been her name. His middle name is up for debate though. It was supposed to be something else, and now we are changing it. D voiced another opinion the other day, and I think I like it too. I haven't told him that yet of course. We are still trying to get used to the whole boy thing right now. Please excuse if you end up reading more than seeing pictures. I'm not that advanced at blogging. I just figure this is easier than posting a note on FB every doctor's appt. And I can share funny stuff that happens to and with the Nuts.