Where did that time go? Our first week was a blur with the daily visits to the doctor's office for bilirubin checks and now suddenly it is 5 weeks later.
Cashew is definitely different than Pnut. He has a completely different personality, the first part being he is addicted to "Mommy Smell". I tease that he has different types of narcolepsy (sp?). Mommy narcolepsy, car narcolepsy, etc. I also say that he goes into milk comas. I think it is just so dang adorable when he finishes eating, you sit him up to burp and he has this content look on his face and milk all over it and his head is just flopped to the side. But if you put him in the M@by Wrap against my chest he is OUT. I'm talking snoring, restful bliss OUT.
Pnut started first grade so my days are not as lounging as most would think. D went back to work after two weeks and my mommy carpooling duties began. It is not as bad as I thought it would be. I am pretty organized with getting Pnut out the door, especially since I don't have to get myself ready yet. Three more weeks and we will see how organized I am to get three of us out the door ready instead of just one. I will definity miss just throwing on a sweatshirt with my pj bottoms and some flip flops to take Pnut to school.
Pnut is now taking the bus home and we are "training"/teaching her to walk home. We live in a relatively quiet track and the bus stop is a little over a half mile from our house on residential streets. My daughter, let's say gently, lacks focus sometimes. At least she lacks focus on what she should be paying attention to instead of what she wants to pay attention to. Thus the "training". I wait different distances from the bus stop and she is learning to "walk with purpose" (as I tell my students who are tardy) from the bus, as well as to cross (gasp!) 3 streets by herself. So far she is at only crossing one street. I remember walking home (2 little blocks weren't so bad, but one of our blocks is equivalent to the two I walked home it seems) and staying in the house for like 30 minutes until my dad got home. Pnut doing this boggles my brain! Luckily 4 days out of the week she will get home around the time one of us does. Does everyone see me stepping out of my comfort zone with this monumental task? I think I am more nervous than Pnut.
Cashew is very trial and error. We have had many battles, that boy and I. Afternoon napping is the big one. Unfortunately because of sissy needing to be picked up right when my little old man should be relaxing into a nap, sometimes the timing gets screwed up and the nap doesn't happen until, oh, dinnertime, or an hour before he is due a bath and then hopefully to go to bed. I had one really bad day where I lacked sleep and Cashew just didn't want to nap at all. Let me explain nap. Though I love holding my son, nap does not equal ON me every time. I would like to, you know, eat or go to the bathroom, or just have a moment for me while he sleeps in his bed (or on my bed, or in the swing, or on the couch, just NOT on me for a minute), however he sometimes has other ideas and our battle begins. Sometimes I win, sometimes he gives in after a time.
I am learning him that is for sure. He does not have a set pattern. What worked one day doesn't necessarily work the next. Swaddling him in a blanket will only work for half the night, then he gets irritated. Sometimes he is a tummy sleeper, sometimes a back, sometimes propped on the nursing pillow. He also is not only gassy so we have to deal with trying to make him comfortable (I don't care if the doctor says he isn't hurting when he strains, uh, it DOES and I know it does, but that is for an entirely different blog), AND he has slight reflux so he will spit up slightly, not all the time (even while propped up) and if he hasn't been burped properly (which is a struggle as well) he will get the hiccoughs MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY! Deep, hollow hiccoughs that make you feel so bad for him because you know that it makes your stomach hurt just thinking about it.
But, he smiles in his sleep, and he even has laughed in his sleep (I know right?) He is starting to coo a little more and he has an ear splitting scream. When he is really mad he sounds like a possessed gremlin (you have to experience it, D thought I was crazy until he heard it). Pnut loves him and can calm him down better than us sometimes, not to mention it is AWESOME having her in the back seat to give him the paci if he is getting fussy. He is a cuddler and needs to be held very securely to go to sleep sometimes. He EATS well. He is a little over 11 pounds and you could say is is chunky, but he isn't. He is nicely filled out and sometimes when you look at him he still just seems small. His cheeks are just so darn kissable and I love when he tries to "eat" my face when I am kissing her cheeks. When we visit his soon to be daycare next door he sits and watches the little kids and there are a few of them that just love him to pieces already.
I know there are still going to be so many adjustments to get used to in having a boy, but I'm good. My Cashew is already a much loved boy. From his family, to his friends, to his church family. I took him to choir practice this past week and he slept in the wrap the whole time. But it made my heart happy when I was getting out of the car beforehand and the accompanist for the choir arrived too. We said hello and I said, "I thought I would let everybody sing to him!" to which Mr. Real replied, "That's a good thing, he belongs to a lot of people in there." And he does! Cashew has been in choir since conception :) And we are so lucky to have SO many people love him, and his sister, so much.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Birth of the Cutest Old Man Baby :)
WARNING: There may be TMI for some of you in this (i.e. catheters, cords, etc) and it is REALLY LONG!
My last post talked about my choice to have a C-section. I never knew how ironic that post would turn out to be, because as it turns out, it was a blessing to have a C-Section.
D and I arrived on time to the hospital and entered triage to a silent room. There was no hustle and bustle, in fact when I mentioned it the nurse shushed me! :) I was put into a room, changed and they gave me my IV. My doctor had wanted me to have an entire bag and a half of fluid before surgery. That stuff is cold mind you and D and I laughed at how cold my arm got. The nurse made me laugh because she said the first bag wasn't going in fast enough. I was really calm during my two hours in triage. I wasn't able to update my statuses on FB, but I was able to text message so my friend J updated on FB for me. Yes, I am a crazy person about FB, I admit it!
Even when the anesthesiologist came in I was fine. He asked me questions which I answered. He explained different scenarios about what I should and should not feel (I was completely asleep for my last one). I was good, even making some jokes. Then the surgical nurse came and my gut dropped. D followed us and the nurse let him into the recovery room to wait for someone to come get him. I became a shivering, almost hysterical wreck. But not hysterical as in screaming. I just started crying silently, my nerves had set in quickly and I was trying to be calm. I prayed, I breathed, and I silently did what I was told. Then the nurse saw and immediately got super close and tried to reassure me. She told me I should be happy and that there was nothing to worry about, which I knew, but my nerves are a funny mess of emotions for me and it took me a little bit to calm down. Then the anesthesiologist did my spinal and I started getting nervous all over again! Cried some more, but settled more easily. They laid me down and everything started to go numb and I was so happy that it did. It is the weirdest sensation I have ever experienced. I did get sick a little from my blood pressure leveling out, but it quickly went away and I realized: I WAS LAYING ON MY BACK AND IT FELT MARVELOUS!
They brought D in just after they started giving me some oxygen. Unfortunately I started itching all over my face and could barely hold D's hand because I was itching my face (around the mask, my eyes, forehead, etc.) The anesthesiologist let me take the mask off and I believe he began to give me benadryl through me IV because I really became calm after that. The doctors were working and I thought at any moment Cashew was going to be born, but the waiting just kept on.
We didn't think anything was wrong, but we realized soon that something was taking too long. It turns out during my previous two surgeries things had shifted inside and my bladder was in the wrong place. Now I don't know anything about anatomy, but my doctor was concerned about identifying where my bladder was and making sure not to harm it. So they had to do some inflating my bladder with blue dye backwards through my catheter. That way if my doctor nicked my bladder he would know. That craziness lasted for almost an hour. My surgery started around 11:40am.
At 12:35 Cashew was born. It was so quick. One minute the room was fairly quiet, the next you could hear our little man crying loudly. Then the doctor said, "Oh wow. There's a true knot." Now, if you are "ER" fans you will remember that Carter's baby died in utero because of a true knot. It is where the baby has flipped and flopped around and created a knot in the umbilical cord. Carter's baby's knot tightened to the point of oxygen deprevation and the baby died. Cashew's knot was loose, but large. He also had a REALLY long cord. So, if I think too hard about what could have happened during a vaginal delivery I shiver a little bit.
Poor D almost couldn't go see Cashew on the warming table because it was across the room and on the other side of the curtain protecting him from see me all open and stuff. You know the whole road precaution about driving and oncoming traffic headlights are blinding you? Look at the lines on the road, that's what D had to do. A few minutes after he went over there the anesthesiologist asked if D wanted to see the knot, D said no, I said YES! So the anesthesiologist took the camera from D and took a picture of it for me :) D brought Cashew over and held him to my face so I could just nuzzle on him and kiss him. It was really nice to just feel him. D was crying a bit, which the nurse that had taken care of me while I cried was just floored over.
My procedure also included a tubal ligation so I assumed that is what happened after that. I had a lot of scar tissue from previous surgeries and as the doctors were working I started to feel more pressure and some of it was not very comfortable. As they continued to work and I said ow a few more times than the anesthesiologist liked, he finally said he was going to give me a sedative. D and Cashew were led out by a nurse, which I knew would happen eventually.
I then woke up in recovery. I looked at the clock across the room and it said 2:30! D was there and so was my BFF Jill. As soon as I woke up, I wanted my baby and I got him. I was so shocked to see how much he looked like Pnut. So much so that they could have been identical. I immediately noticed all the hair he had, but I also noticed differences ( his lips are smaller, his ears are mine instead of D's). He had not a piece out of place.
My surgery had so many ups and downs to it, but there is such a large blessing in my decision to have a C-section. My doctor says my surgery was the hardest he has every done. I had lots of scarring, lots of bleeding (which upon blood work it was decided I didn't need to receive any blood), and then there was the bladder thing. The easiest part of my surgery was delivering Cashew. They did give me some general anesthetic, it is my assumption that because of the length of time it was taking my spinal was beginning to fade. Not to mention the next 24 hours of me receiving benadryl every hour because it seems I am allergic to the numbing agent they put in your back first before the spinal. I swear I thought I was going to scratch my skin off!
I held off on major pain medication for about 18 hours as well. I only took one shot and then everything was oral meds from then on.
Cashew is definitely different from his sister. He is a fussypants as I call him, but each day as he gets used to the world he is less fussy. He lets you know what he wants, but at the same time what he does and doesn't like. He definitly looks like his daddy. Oh my goodness does he look like his daddy. The hairline just does it for you. But he has this little old man look to him as well. He doesn't look like a baby, but a miniature adult. His eyebrows and eyelashes are so light or nonexisten that his face is just so gorgeous to me. When he sleeps on your shoulder his face looks completely like a baby, but when you lay him in the bed and look at him, it's the little old man face. When he is awake he has the brightest eyes and I can't wait to see what color they turn out to be ( our options are dark brown or light brown so not much mystery, but still).
I am so happy he is here. Pnut is trying to be a good helper and a great big sister. She has gotten better about not being so touchy. She really wants to help though so we are working our way through certain things. She started first grade yesterday so she is busy that way now as well.
It was a long journey to get our little man here. Lots of ultrasounds, no weight gain :) but lots of discomfort. I am happy to be in my bed again and be able to lay comfortably. My joints don't hurt anymore, my leg is no longer numb.
Cashew is almost two weeks old and I drove yesterday. Long trips are not in my future for another two or three weeks, but around town I am ok. No heavy lifting except my boy and maybe a gallon of milk. Thank you for all the prayers, visits, and meals! If you are looking for pics, please visit my FB, there are always new ones going up :)
My last post talked about my choice to have a C-section. I never knew how ironic that post would turn out to be, because as it turns out, it was a blessing to have a C-Section.
D and I arrived on time to the hospital and entered triage to a silent room. There was no hustle and bustle, in fact when I mentioned it the nurse shushed me! :) I was put into a room, changed and they gave me my IV. My doctor had wanted me to have an entire bag and a half of fluid before surgery. That stuff is cold mind you and D and I laughed at how cold my arm got. The nurse made me laugh because she said the first bag wasn't going in fast enough. I was really calm during my two hours in triage. I wasn't able to update my statuses on FB, but I was able to text message so my friend J updated on FB for me. Yes, I am a crazy person about FB, I admit it!
Even when the anesthesiologist came in I was fine. He asked me questions which I answered. He explained different scenarios about what I should and should not feel (I was completely asleep for my last one). I was good, even making some jokes. Then the surgical nurse came and my gut dropped. D followed us and the nurse let him into the recovery room to wait for someone to come get him. I became a shivering, almost hysterical wreck. But not hysterical as in screaming. I just started crying silently, my nerves had set in quickly and I was trying to be calm. I prayed, I breathed, and I silently did what I was told. Then the nurse saw and immediately got super close and tried to reassure me. She told me I should be happy and that there was nothing to worry about, which I knew, but my nerves are a funny mess of emotions for me and it took me a little bit to calm down. Then the anesthesiologist did my spinal and I started getting nervous all over again! Cried some more, but settled more easily. They laid me down and everything started to go numb and I was so happy that it did. It is the weirdest sensation I have ever experienced. I did get sick a little from my blood pressure leveling out, but it quickly went away and I realized: I WAS LAYING ON MY BACK AND IT FELT MARVELOUS!
They brought D in just after they started giving me some oxygen. Unfortunately I started itching all over my face and could barely hold D's hand because I was itching my face (around the mask, my eyes, forehead, etc.) The anesthesiologist let me take the mask off and I believe he began to give me benadryl through me IV because I really became calm after that. The doctors were working and I thought at any moment Cashew was going to be born, but the waiting just kept on.
We didn't think anything was wrong, but we realized soon that something was taking too long. It turns out during my previous two surgeries things had shifted inside and my bladder was in the wrong place. Now I don't know anything about anatomy, but my doctor was concerned about identifying where my bladder was and making sure not to harm it. So they had to do some inflating my bladder with blue dye backwards through my catheter. That way if my doctor nicked my bladder he would know. That craziness lasted for almost an hour. My surgery started around 11:40am.
At 12:35 Cashew was born. It was so quick. One minute the room was fairly quiet, the next you could hear our little man crying loudly. Then the doctor said, "Oh wow. There's a true knot." Now, if you are "ER" fans you will remember that Carter's baby died in utero because of a true knot. It is where the baby has flipped and flopped around and created a knot in the umbilical cord. Carter's baby's knot tightened to the point of oxygen deprevation and the baby died. Cashew's knot was loose, but large. He also had a REALLY long cord. So, if I think too hard about what could have happened during a vaginal delivery I shiver a little bit.
Poor D almost couldn't go see Cashew on the warming table because it was across the room and on the other side of the curtain protecting him from see me all open and stuff. You know the whole road precaution about driving and oncoming traffic headlights are blinding you? Look at the lines on the road, that's what D had to do. A few minutes after he went over there the anesthesiologist asked if D wanted to see the knot, D said no, I said YES! So the anesthesiologist took the camera from D and took a picture of it for me :) D brought Cashew over and held him to my face so I could just nuzzle on him and kiss him. It was really nice to just feel him. D was crying a bit, which the nurse that had taken care of me while I cried was just floored over.
My procedure also included a tubal ligation so I assumed that is what happened after that. I had a lot of scar tissue from previous surgeries and as the doctors were working I started to feel more pressure and some of it was not very comfortable. As they continued to work and I said ow a few more times than the anesthesiologist liked, he finally said he was going to give me a sedative. D and Cashew were led out by a nurse, which I knew would happen eventually.
I then woke up in recovery. I looked at the clock across the room and it said 2:30! D was there and so was my BFF Jill. As soon as I woke up, I wanted my baby and I got him. I was so shocked to see how much he looked like Pnut. So much so that they could have been identical. I immediately noticed all the hair he had, but I also noticed differences ( his lips are smaller, his ears are mine instead of D's). He had not a piece out of place.
My surgery had so many ups and downs to it, but there is such a large blessing in my decision to have a C-section. My doctor says my surgery was the hardest he has every done. I had lots of scarring, lots of bleeding (which upon blood work it was decided I didn't need to receive any blood), and then there was the bladder thing. The easiest part of my surgery was delivering Cashew. They did give me some general anesthetic, it is my assumption that because of the length of time it was taking my spinal was beginning to fade. Not to mention the next 24 hours of me receiving benadryl every hour because it seems I am allergic to the numbing agent they put in your back first before the spinal. I swear I thought I was going to scratch my skin off!
I held off on major pain medication for about 18 hours as well. I only took one shot and then everything was oral meds from then on.
Cashew is definitely different from his sister. He is a fussypants as I call him, but each day as he gets used to the world he is less fussy. He lets you know what he wants, but at the same time what he does and doesn't like. He definitly looks like his daddy. Oh my goodness does he look like his daddy. The hairline just does it for you. But he has this little old man look to him as well. He doesn't look like a baby, but a miniature adult. His eyebrows and eyelashes are so light or nonexisten that his face is just so gorgeous to me. When he sleeps on your shoulder his face looks completely like a baby, but when you lay him in the bed and look at him, it's the little old man face. When he is awake he has the brightest eyes and I can't wait to see what color they turn out to be ( our options are dark brown or light brown so not much mystery, but still).
I am so happy he is here. Pnut is trying to be a good helper and a great big sister. She has gotten better about not being so touchy. She really wants to help though so we are working our way through certain things. She started first grade yesterday so she is busy that way now as well.
It was a long journey to get our little man here. Lots of ultrasounds, no weight gain :) but lots of discomfort. I am happy to be in my bed again and be able to lay comfortably. My joints don't hurt anymore, my leg is no longer numb.
Cashew is almost two weeks old and I drove yesterday. Long trips are not in my future for another two or three weeks, but around town I am ok. No heavy lifting except my boy and maybe a gallon of milk. Thank you for all the prayers, visits, and meals! If you are looking for pics, please visit my FB, there are always new ones going up :)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Where I talk about my choice
I don't consider myself a very brave person. I think that it is part of being a teacher to hide your vulnerabilities at times so that students don't get the upper hand. I think that kind of then drives other parts of me into a place where I don't show my true personality to a lot of people as well. This typically winds up being me being very non-confrontational with my problems but I can be quite vocal about my problems to third parties instead of addressing the issues directly. But, I guess by saying this I know what I am capable of so to speak.
So, why am I electing for a C-section? To say it's easier isn't really true. Is it easier? Yes. Will the recovery be easier? Who knows. When I had Pnut she was born at almost 10pm Tuesday and I was home walking around with minimal issues by Thursday at 8:30pm. This time around I am not getting my hopes up that my recovery will be as simple, but I can wish for it and see what happens.
My birthing experience with Pnut was not the ideal situation. Through more reading this time around I found that what happened with my body is actually something that happens to women a lot which calls for c-sections. I laugh this time around since my doctor has assured me this time will be more "civilized". A scheduled C-section is low key, low stress, there is more time to wait for medicines to kick in and after all that is the fact that you have an actual due date, not a guess.
So it turns out that I am addicted to baby birth shows when I am pregnant. I really shouldn't watch them so much, but it seems that there is a lack of programming or something right now because it seems like that is all I can find sometimes. As I watch the shows and see the different scenarios I find myself evaluating my decision to have an elected surgury and my decision just continues to be further cemented.
I admire women who know their bodies and limitations to the extent that they would choose to have a natural child birthing experience. I watch the different ones or hear people tell me stories and there is a little niggling in my brain that goes (you should try it) and then I remember what labor felt like before my body started reversing its progress and go, no not doing that again.
I can't wait to hear about the different birth stories that will be coming to me in the next few months. I think there are 4 besides myself at this point. Each experience is going to be different and that is the beauty of birth.
Now for the fear: I was asleep last time! I don't know what to expect during the surgery at all. I know the process, I know what is going to be done, but I have absolutely no idea what it is going to feel like! Crazy to think about for my second c-section. I always joke with people that I went to sleep and woke up with a baby. I question my sanity when I say, "Hmm, can I just do that again too?" Remember this is me the non-confrontational person. This is an example. Let's go with the most extreme scenario imaginable to escape a little bit of fear.
We are 3 days away.
Prayers for:
-Smooth surgery (this includes meds working when they should and procedures going swiftly)
-No surprises (the last c-section they found a cyst on my ovary and we had crazy issues from that for the next few months)
-Healthy baby Cashew
-A recovery that is not necessarily quick, but manageable
Thanks!
So, why am I electing for a C-section? To say it's easier isn't really true. Is it easier? Yes. Will the recovery be easier? Who knows. When I had Pnut she was born at almost 10pm Tuesday and I was home walking around with minimal issues by Thursday at 8:30pm. This time around I am not getting my hopes up that my recovery will be as simple, but I can wish for it and see what happens.
My birthing experience with Pnut was not the ideal situation. Through more reading this time around I found that what happened with my body is actually something that happens to women a lot which calls for c-sections. I laugh this time around since my doctor has assured me this time will be more "civilized". A scheduled C-section is low key, low stress, there is more time to wait for medicines to kick in and after all that is the fact that you have an actual due date, not a guess.
So it turns out that I am addicted to baby birth shows when I am pregnant. I really shouldn't watch them so much, but it seems that there is a lack of programming or something right now because it seems like that is all I can find sometimes. As I watch the shows and see the different scenarios I find myself evaluating my decision to have an elected surgury and my decision just continues to be further cemented.
I admire women who know their bodies and limitations to the extent that they would choose to have a natural child birthing experience. I watch the different ones or hear people tell me stories and there is a little niggling in my brain that goes (you should try it) and then I remember what labor felt like before my body started reversing its progress and go, no not doing that again.
I can't wait to hear about the different birth stories that will be coming to me in the next few months. I think there are 4 besides myself at this point. Each experience is going to be different and that is the beauty of birth.
Now for the fear: I was asleep last time! I don't know what to expect during the surgery at all. I know the process, I know what is going to be done, but I have absolutely no idea what it is going to feel like! Crazy to think about for my second c-section. I always joke with people that I went to sleep and woke up with a baby. I question my sanity when I say, "Hmm, can I just do that again too?" Remember this is me the non-confrontational person. This is an example. Let's go with the most extreme scenario imaginable to escape a little bit of fear.
We are 3 days away.
Prayers for:
-Smooth surgery (this includes meds working when they should and procedures going swiftly)
-No surprises (the last c-section they found a cyst on my ovary and we had crazy issues from that for the next few months)
-Healthy baby Cashew
-A recovery that is not necessarily quick, but manageable
Thanks!
Monday, August 15, 2011
It's almost here!
So as compared to my appointment two weeks ago, this one was very smooth. My appointment was an hour earlier than the last one and I was out in 20 minutes. Thank you Lord! I really didn't think I could handle waiting another 2 hours like the last time.
Cashew heartbeat was a good rate at 140. He is still head down which is good too because despite me having a C-section when babies are head down for sections it makes the procedure faster too.
It would appear that I have finally gained weight. Two weeks ago I had gained about 3 pounds and today it seems I have gained another 3. Since my first appointment in January was in the afternoon and my last two appointments have been in the morning I have been trying to keep up with that differential. Usually I weigh myself in the morning on the day by weeks change. So as compared to my other weekly weights in the morning I am at 6 pounds gained. I count this as a blessing since for women my size we are not supposed to gain more than 15 pounds.
So now we are at T minus 12 days until my C-section. I have had moments of nesting and am feeling ready finally. At first I was wanting to do things to get ready but it felt too early to start, but now it is so close so having the things finally done feels really good.
Our family is going to change so much with Cashew coming. I still don't know how it is possible to go from 3-4 without an emotional upheaval. You are used to loving two people and suddenly here is another person that enters the mix and will be new and loved the same. We will see how that goes for us, it will definitely be an adventure. :)
Cashew heartbeat was a good rate at 140. He is still head down which is good too because despite me having a C-section when babies are head down for sections it makes the procedure faster too.
It would appear that I have finally gained weight. Two weeks ago I had gained about 3 pounds and today it seems I have gained another 3. Since my first appointment in January was in the afternoon and my last two appointments have been in the morning I have been trying to keep up with that differential. Usually I weigh myself in the morning on the day by weeks change. So as compared to my other weekly weights in the morning I am at 6 pounds gained. I count this as a blessing since for women my size we are not supposed to gain more than 15 pounds.
So now we are at T minus 12 days until my C-section. I have had moments of nesting and am feeling ready finally. At first I was wanting to do things to get ready but it felt too early to start, but now it is so close so having the things finally done feels really good.
Our family is going to change so much with Cashew coming. I still don't know how it is possible to go from 3-4 without an emotional upheaval. You are used to loving two people and suddenly here is another person that enters the mix and will be new and loved the same. We will see how that goes for us, it will definitely be an adventure. :)
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Moving
So last week D and I are laying in bed and Cashew is being extra compliant. Moving all over the place and actually feeling like he is doing 2 somersaults that actually hurt quite a bit. But, seeing as Pnut never let her dad feel her move too much in utero it was nice for D to feel. Over the next few days I notice that Cashew's patterns change. Mornings and evenings used to be heavy moving times for him. That had changed to where I was only feeling slight shifts or jabs every once in a while. My doctor had been pushing me for kick counts and honestly who has time to lay down for 1-2 hours to do it, but I did try.
Which brings us to yesterday's doctor's appt. I arrive five minutes early, my appt is at 9:50. I do not get put into a room until 10:35 and the doctor doesn't come in until 11:15. I was seriously pissed. I can't even be nice on the blog and say annoyed. I was definitely pissed. So he begins his normal questions and I say everything seems fine. He then asks about kick counts and I'm honest. He is moving, just not as strongly as before. I figure, the kid is running out of room so this should be fine. My doctor has that look on his face like, oh no this is terrible. I had also threw in my jab that in the hour and a half I had been at the office the baby had moved/kicked at least 8 times that I felt. I was SO pissed. So then he asks me if I have any plans for the rest of the day. Uh, yes. I have to work because it is the one time in the summer that I work, and it is the most important day of the contracted work that I do.
Doctor of course doesn't care and really wants me to go for a non-stress test. I am just deeply annoyed with the whole situation, beginning to freak myself out, etc. What makes me even more aggravated is that the baby's heartrate is 135, Dr. did a brief ultrasound and could see baby moving, head down, and heartbeat. Plus I had said that the baby moved at least 8 times in 1 1/2 hours. Grr. Ok fine, he managed to get me into test right away so I have to walk across Kaiser campus from doctor office to hospital. Call D while I'm walking to update him, text friends I'm working with to let them know what is going on. Get to testing, lay down and do what you probably shouldn't do during a non-stress test: start to ball!
Nurses checked on me and had to calm me down, they told me baby was moving fine and just to relax, but when you are ticked off, upset and then trying to calm yourself down, doesn't always work. Finally relaxed.
Now here is my questions about movement. According to the monitors the baby was moving a lot. But in my 20 minutes of monitoring I really only felt 4 movements. How then are kick counts effective if you can't feel what they count as movement!? GRR.
So, Cashew is fine. I had a craptastic morning, made it to work only about 5-10 minutes late and was completely disjointed from the whole class. Which made me irritated, because I wanted to be all there, and wasn't.
Right now, it is almost 6am. I have been awake since 5 when D left for work because my hips are just in agony. Yesterday and today have been the worst, and this morning I decided it wasn't even worth trying to find a position that works because when you are pregnant there are really only two positions you can lay in in bed, left side and right side. I have the pillow between my legs, I have the pillow that is in front of me supporting Cashew and me. Hips are still on fire constantly. 24 days can't fly fast enough.
I will still maintain that I enjoy pregnancy. I will never complain about the pregnancy part. I will however complain this time about the joint pain because it really hurts.
Let's all hope that my next appt in two weeks is a cakewalk, because I really need it to be :)
Which brings us to yesterday's doctor's appt. I arrive five minutes early, my appt is at 9:50. I do not get put into a room until 10:35 and the doctor doesn't come in until 11:15. I was seriously pissed. I can't even be nice on the blog and say annoyed. I was definitely pissed. So he begins his normal questions and I say everything seems fine. He then asks about kick counts and I'm honest. He is moving, just not as strongly as before. I figure, the kid is running out of room so this should be fine. My doctor has that look on his face like, oh no this is terrible. I had also threw in my jab that in the hour and a half I had been at the office the baby had moved/kicked at least 8 times that I felt. I was SO pissed. So then he asks me if I have any plans for the rest of the day. Uh, yes. I have to work because it is the one time in the summer that I work, and it is the most important day of the contracted work that I do.
Doctor of course doesn't care and really wants me to go for a non-stress test. I am just deeply annoyed with the whole situation, beginning to freak myself out, etc. What makes me even more aggravated is that the baby's heartrate is 135, Dr. did a brief ultrasound and could see baby moving, head down, and heartbeat. Plus I had said that the baby moved at least 8 times in 1 1/2 hours. Grr. Ok fine, he managed to get me into test right away so I have to walk across Kaiser campus from doctor office to hospital. Call D while I'm walking to update him, text friends I'm working with to let them know what is going on. Get to testing, lay down and do what you probably shouldn't do during a non-stress test: start to ball!
Nurses checked on me and had to calm me down, they told me baby was moving fine and just to relax, but when you are ticked off, upset and then trying to calm yourself down, doesn't always work. Finally relaxed.
Now here is my questions about movement. According to the monitors the baby was moving a lot. But in my 20 minutes of monitoring I really only felt 4 movements. How then are kick counts effective if you can't feel what they count as movement!? GRR.
So, Cashew is fine. I had a craptastic morning, made it to work only about 5-10 minutes late and was completely disjointed from the whole class. Which made me irritated, because I wanted to be all there, and wasn't.
Right now, it is almost 6am. I have been awake since 5 when D left for work because my hips are just in agony. Yesterday and today have been the worst, and this morning I decided it wasn't even worth trying to find a position that works because when you are pregnant there are really only two positions you can lay in in bed, left side and right side. I have the pillow between my legs, I have the pillow that is in front of me supporting Cashew and me. Hips are still on fire constantly. 24 days can't fly fast enough.
I will still maintain that I enjoy pregnancy. I will never complain about the pregnancy part. I will however complain this time about the joint pain because it really hurts.
Let's all hope that my next appt in two weeks is a cakewalk, because I really need it to be :)
Monday, July 18, 2011
A light at the end of the tunnel
After today I have, hopefully, only two appointments left with my doctor. Got there today and stepped on the scale to find I had lost another pound. This is the biggest head scratcher for me since I gained weight with Pnut, but with Cashew it would seem that he wants everything and there is no excess. Could be a good thing. Blood pressure is good. When the doctor came in and asked how things were going all my answers are in the affirmative.
No issues? Nope.
Baby moving regularly? Yep
Taking vitamins? Yep
My surgery date seems to be set, my preop appointment is set. Things are progressing and it is kind of crazy that it is finally close to being here.
Cashew's heartrate has increased. I learned today that that is a good thing. Doctor said that when heartrates don't increase over time then it can be a concern. Good to know. Ultrasound showed that he is still head down and in the words of the doctor "has long legs." Not surprising either seeing as his sister broke the 4 foot mark before she turned 6.
Ah, Pnut. She is a character. Loving one moment, stubborn and immoveable the next. She got a haircut recently and looks so grown up with her short little "bob". She is swimming regularly and we have been going to Soak City, which is nice for me because she gets worn out playing and I move from the water, to the lounger, repeat. She is excited for her brother to come, and I truly pray that she continues to love him as much as she seems to outside of the womb as inside it. It will definitely be an experience with the transition from 3 to 4. We have been 3 for so long it is a little scary to think about.
33 weeks and 3 days gone. Time takes time to be sure, but it is very close.
No issues? Nope.
Baby moving regularly? Yep
Taking vitamins? Yep
My surgery date seems to be set, my preop appointment is set. Things are progressing and it is kind of crazy that it is finally close to being here.
Cashew's heartrate has increased. I learned today that that is a good thing. Doctor said that when heartrates don't increase over time then it can be a concern. Good to know. Ultrasound showed that he is still head down and in the words of the doctor "has long legs." Not surprising either seeing as his sister broke the 4 foot mark before she turned 6.
Ah, Pnut. She is a character. Loving one moment, stubborn and immoveable the next. She got a haircut recently and looks so grown up with her short little "bob". She is swimming regularly and we have been going to Soak City, which is nice for me because she gets worn out playing and I move from the water, to the lounger, repeat. She is excited for her brother to come, and I truly pray that she continues to love him as much as she seems to outside of the womb as inside it. It will definitely be an experience with the transition from 3 to 4. We have been 3 for so long it is a little scary to think about.
33 weeks and 3 days gone. Time takes time to be sure, but it is very close.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
It's getter closer, and it feels great
When I had Pnut I went through a real hard time afterwards feeling like I had been cheated. I had had a beautiful pregnancy with her. I had absolutely no complications at all. Labor and Delivery were another story. My initial labor started on a Saturday, but I wasn't admitted until Tuesday. I spent all day in the hospital and my body stalled, not necessarily my contractions. With Pnut's heartrate dropping on a regular basis, and my body resisting medications designed to help me relax we finally went in for a C-section. Even that did not go as planned as Pnut's heartrate kept dropping to the 70s and 80s while they prepped me and the spinal did not take effect fast enough for everyone's comfort level. So, I was put under general anesthetic and when I woke up, it was to a quiet room. I was quickly reassured that Pnut was fine and beautiful and with D. Which she was.
I had felt like I missed the big event. You watch the baby shows on TV and see the joy and excitement when you see the baby for the first time. I didn't have that. So needless to say watching those shows afterwards were quite frustrating and to be honest, anger inducing.
Well, with Cashew, I am feeling a bit more reassured. I discussed my last delivery with my doctor who reassured me that since we are doing a planned C-section this time around we have more time to let the medication take effect, there is no hurry and no distress on Cashew to worry about.
I can also watch the baby shows on TV again. I respect women that give birth naturally, I respect women even more that can do it without medication. I tried, my body failed me, I had medication and those failed me too, Once Bitten, Twice Shy. I am excited to meet Cashew. Pnut is drawing our new family all the time including Cashew. She accepts his name finally! That was a chore. She wants to have input on his middle name, but unfortunately all the names she has been exposed to are Hispanic. The one that sticks out is "Cashew" Lopez. It is just hilarious what she comes up with. She also wanted Jose #3 since there was a #1 and #2 in her class this year.
She cracks me up. My expected surgery date is August 26th and it can't come fast enough!
I had felt like I missed the big event. You watch the baby shows on TV and see the joy and excitement when you see the baby for the first time. I didn't have that. So needless to say watching those shows afterwards were quite frustrating and to be honest, anger inducing.
Well, with Cashew, I am feeling a bit more reassured. I discussed my last delivery with my doctor who reassured me that since we are doing a planned C-section this time around we have more time to let the medication take effect, there is no hurry and no distress on Cashew to worry about.
I can also watch the baby shows on TV again. I respect women that give birth naturally, I respect women even more that can do it without medication. I tried, my body failed me, I had medication and those failed me too, Once Bitten, Twice Shy. I am excited to meet Cashew. Pnut is drawing our new family all the time including Cashew. She accepts his name finally! That was a chore. She wants to have input on his middle name, but unfortunately all the names she has been exposed to are Hispanic. The one that sticks out is "Cashew" Lopez. It is just hilarious what she comes up with. She also wanted Jose #3 since there was a #1 and #2 in her class this year.
She cracks me up. My expected surgery date is August 26th and it can't come fast enough!
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